Talking About Suicide: A Guide to Conversations That Save Lives

Yesterday, Waythrough staff were invited to a an internal Learning Lunch to increase awareness and understanding around suicide and how to start a conversation with someone who you are concerned about. Here’s what we learned:

Suicide is never caused by just one thing. It’s complex, deeply personal, and often hidden behind silence. That’s why talking about suicide matters. It reduces stigma, helps us recognise warning signs, and can make the difference between someone feeling isolated or supported.

Learning and sharing skills for conversations that save lives

We explored how understanding different types of suicide, practical tools, and compassionate language can help us approach one of the toughest — yet most vital — conversations, and how sharing this knowledge with others makes it even more powerful.

Understanding Suicide

There are many different types of suicide, influenced by personal, psychological, and situational factors:

• • Depressed Suicide – linked to persistent hopelessness and low mood.

  • Psychotic Suicide – connected to altered reality and severe mental health struggles.

  • Impulsive Suicide – sudden acts without long-term planning.

  • Cry for Help – a way of expressing distress and a need for support.

  • Philosophic – motivated by belief systems or existential reasoning.

  • Misadventure – accidental death resulting from risky behaviours.

From a sociological perspective, Durkheim’s theory outlines four other forms:

• • Egoistic – when people feel isolated or disconnected.

  • Altruistic – when life is sacrificed for a perceived greater good.

  • Anomic – triggered by major social or economic disruption.

  • Fatalistic – caused by oppressive, hopeless circumstances.

The key point? Not all suicide happens for the same reason.

What Might Lead Someone to Suicide?

Life events that may increase risk include:

mental health disorders  |  substance misuse  |  trauma  |  increased access to means  |  social and economic hardship

In practice, people often talk about financial pressures, trauma to loved ones, or feeling like a burden. At the heart of it all is the sense of hopelessness — feeling trapped and unable to imagine a future that looks any different.

Warning Signs to Look Out For

Some signs are more visible than others, but changes in mood, behaviour, or presentation can indicate risk:

• • Persistent low mood

  • Talking about suicide (directly or indirectly)

  • Withdrawing from family and friends

  • Sudden outbursts of anger, love, or gratitude

  • Giving away personal possessions

Remember: change is critical. Escalation often moves from ideation (thinking about suicide), to intent (planning), to means (having resources to act). At times, someone may say they’re not suicidal or don’t have the means — but if the opportunity arises, they might still act on those thoughts in the near future.

How to Start a Conversation

Communication can be the tipping point. Silence reinforces isolation, but speaking up shows care.

• • Lead with empathy

  • Be clear and direct

  • Avoid judgement

A simple, supportive phrase such as:

“You’ve said a few things that concern me. I have to ask, are you thinking about suicide?”

Questions You Can Ask

Don’t be afraid of directness — you won’t “put the idea in their head.” Instead, you’ll create space for honesty:

• • “Are you having thoughts of suicide?”

  • “Do you have a plan?”

  • “Have you attempted suicide before?”

  • “Do you have the means to act on your plan?”

  • “Are you thinking about attempting suicide?”

Follow-up questions can help you understand more:

• • “How long have you felt like this?”

  • “Have you reached out for support?”

  • “Do you normally feel like this?”

Even if the answer is “Oh, nothing like that”, you’ve opened a door to say: “If that changes, let me know.”

Offering Support

Support should be person-centred and collaborative:

• • Explore underlying causes and encourage appropriate help — peer support, professional services, or trusted networks.

  • Ask what kind of support they want and what they expect.

  • Set healthy boundaries for your ongoing role.

What Not to Say

Indirect, dismissive, or judgemental phrases can shut down conversation and increase shame. Avoid these:

• • “Are you going to do something silly?”

  • “Cheer up.”

  • “Think about your family.”

As one mental health worker noted, if someone says “No, I’m not going to do something silly”, they may still be planning something that feels entirely rational to them at that moment. That’s why specific, non-judgemental language matters.

Language Matters

Words shape how safe someone feels when opening up.
Avoid using terms such as commit suicide/committing suicide as this implies a crime or sin. And complete suicide/completing suicide as this can sound like achievement.

Instead, using phrases like ‘die by suicide’ or ‘died by suicide’ is recommended, as they are clear, non-judgemental, and straightforward.

Why Are We Having This Conversation?

We’re not having these conversations to interrogate or pry. We do it because we’re concerned, and because we want to support and save lives.

The most important tools aren’t scripts or clinical knowledge — they’re intention, empathy, and genuineness.

The Big Picture

Don’t be afraid to start conversations about suicide — it may not be a word that rolls easily off the tongue, but speaking it out loud can save a life.

Even something as simple as asking:

“What’s on your mind today?”
followed by: “Have you been thinking about suicide?”

…can open up a life-saving conversation.

Final Thought

Talking about suicide isn’t about having all the answers.

It’s about listening, showing empathy, and offering support but not trying to put reasoning into it. Every question asked with kindness chips away at stigma and isolation — and every conversation has the potential to save a life.

By learning how to talk about suicide — and sharing that knowledge with others — we create ripples of understanding, compassion and hope that can save lives.