Friendship: Good for You, Scientifically

The Friendship Effect: Connection, health and happiness

Friendship is good for the soul and the science agrees!

Friendship can make life feel lighter. A good friend may not be able to fix what is happening, but they can listen, make us laugh, remind us who we are and help us feel less alone.

That is not simply a pleasant bonus. Social connection is increasingly recognised as an important part of both mental and physical health. Research links supportive friendships with greater happiness, resilience and a stronger sense of meaning and belonging. Friends can also help to soften the effects of stress by providing reassurance, practical help and a safe place to talk. (PubMed)

The benefits may reach further than we realise. The World Health Organization reports that loneliness and social isolation are associated with increased risks to mental and physical health, including depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes. Healthy social connection, on the other hand, can support wellbeing and reduce the risk of premature death. (World Health Organization)

Friendship is not a luxury.
It is one of the ways we help one another stay well.

What makes someone a good friend?

A good friend does not need to be endlessly available, perfectly wise or equipped with a kettle and emergency biscuits at all times.

Good friends listen without immediately turning the conversation back to themselves.

The strongest friendships are usually built on fairly ordinary things: trust, kindness, mutual effort and feeling able to be yourself.
Good friends listen without immediately turning the conversation back to themselves. They respect boundaries, celebrate our successes and remain honest without being cruel.

Reliability matters too. Friendship grows through repeated contact and small moments of connection — a message, a shared activity, a regular group or remembering to ask how something went. Research suggests that companionship, shared interests, emotional support and making an effort to maintain the relationship are all associated with stronger friendships and better wellbeing. (PubMed)

Friendship does not have to look one particular way

Some people thrive with a large social circle. Others prefer one or two close friends.
Some friendships last for decades, while others belong to a particular chapter of life.

Some friendships last for decades,
while others belong to a particular chapter of life.

There are friends we confide in, friends we walk with, friends who make us laugh and friends we may only see occasionally but reconnect with easily.

It is the quality and suitability of our connections, rather than simply collecting as many friends as possible, that matters.

Making new friends as an adult can feel awkward, especially after illness, bereavement, retirement, moving home or a period of poor mental health. Yet friendships often begin without a dramatic spark. They grow from being in the same place regularly, sharing an interest and having the courage to say hello more than once. For some simple, practical ideas, take a look at our earlier article, Making Friends.

It is the quality and suitability of our connections,
rather than simply collecting as many friends as possible, that matters.

A conversation at a group, workshop, volunteering activity or community event may feel small. But small connections count — and they sometimes become something much bigger.

This International Day of Friendship, perhaps it is worth sending the message, accepting the invitation or making room for one more conversation.

Friendship is not a luxury.
It is one of the ways we help one another stay well.

Want to read more?

• World Health Organization: Social connection
  an accessible overview of how loneliness and social isolation affect mental and physical health, and why meaningful connection matters.
  (World Health Organization)
• WHO Commission on Social Connection: Plain-language summary
  key findings from the WHO’s global report, presented in a more digestible format.
  (World Health Organization)
• Adult friendship and wellbeing: a systematic review
  research examining how adult friendships are linked with wellbeing, happiness and a sense of belonging.
  (PubMed)
• Social isolation and physical health in adults: a systematic review
  a closer look at the evidence connecting social isolation with poorer physical and psychological health.
  (PubMed)
• The healing effects of social connection
  information and resources from the US Surgeon General exploring how relationships and community connection can protect health.
  (HHS.gov)

Article by Chon